The Cowardice Smackdown

Today at FLI...

...during my intense 2-day paper-writing escapade I took a short break and stumbled across an interesting video.  It was actually a webcast - a sermon on dating from Mars Hill Church in Seattle, WA.  It was the most candid talk on the Relationships/Dating/Courtship topic I've ever heard.  It was great - until the end.  Then he said something that really struck me.  He didn't mince words, apologize, stutter, or forewarn the audience - he just laid down the smack:

"Some of you are here... and you’ve lacked courage and confidence... and particularly you men.  It’s time to repent of your cowardice.”

Whhhhhat? Repent of your cowardice? Oooouch! *sting, burn*  Since when is lacking confidence considered cowardice? Who does this guy think he is?!?! Is he %$@$#%* serious? I’ve heard dozens of seminars and talks on this stuff - and never once have I heard anyone talk about repenting of a lack of confidence or even mention the word cowardice.  That's just wrong.  I've read tons of books on relationships, courtship, dating, engagement - the whole shebang.  Not one of them said anything about repenting of cowardice.  Heck, I’m even taking an entire course on the subject - nothing about cowardice there either.  I've read enough that, if you can name it, I’ve heard of it, probably read it, and got the workbook. But this! A call to repent of male cowardice? I'd never heard such a thing - not in a dating context anyway.

Preposterous. It was so far from anything I'd ever heard that, as I began to really think about what it might mean in the context of my life, it started to sink deep.


Overall, the message was short, engaging, funny - and compelling. And with that, it was a smack in the face in a way I've never heard it before. This slap was to men: to wake up!  I thought I was awake! I thought I was doing everything I should be doing as a man! I study leadership, I practice integrity, I work hard, I steward my resources well, and I put God first. I live by honor and respect! Well, apparently not if cowardice is on the radar. Geez, God? Really? Now? Above all other times, now? I am NOT feeling the love here bro... you're telling me: I've got another issue to deal with? On top of everything else that's going on!?!?  One more thing? Really? You have got to be kidding...

I paused. Wait a minute...Who the heck is this guy anyway? Well, that thought didn't get far.  Turns out, "this guy" was actually Mark Driscoll - pastor at Mars Hill Church in Seattle; this church has satellite churches in 9 cities, is reaching millions of people all over the world for the kingdom of God, and online 24/7.  A few quick searches on Driscoll showed what this Godly man is made of - a mean, lean, God-believing, Word-preaching machine!  He speaks truth like nobody's business. To make me feel worse, a few quick searches on BibleGateway revealed to me what God says about cowardice.  Oh no... Here we go again, I thought, and braced myself.  God's getting ready to convict me... I just know it.

And he did. Of the 25 demonstrated occurrences of cowardice in the Bible, all 25 involve men (Nave's Topical).  Only 4 instances involve men and women in a mixed group, while 21 acts of cowardice were committed by men alone, or groups of men together.  In each of these contexts, it is also very clear that cowardice does not please God, nor does it constitute obedience to his will. Cowardice is not godliness. Cowardice is not leadership. Cowardice is not acting with integrity.  Cowardice is a shameful, low-blowing, scumbagish, spineless act of fear.  Acts of cowardice are 6 times more likely to be committed by men than by women, so this message was clear:  Driscoll tells the cowardly men to repent, to grow up, and be the courageous men God desires they be.

Why Teamwork? Because a little humor goes a long way.  That and pictures
describe powerful principles so much better than words sometimes.
Meat shields are an act of cowardice. Booyah!

So - it looks like God is saying it's time to face the facts: cowardice has been an unwelcome guest in my life for a long time.  I first felt its grip when I was 11 years old - fear swept over me like a plague before I stood up to give my first book report in 1995.  Somehow, that fear resurfaces every time I present.  It feels like it never left.  Cowardice grips me in two key ways - and interestingly enough - in only two ways: 1.) while initiating dates, and 2.) while speaking in front of a large group of people.  I didn't plan on doing either of these things when I came to FLI because I felt like I had enough on my plate already. (NOTE: I even mentioned avoiding these things in my application.)  But it looks like God had other plans - two weeks ago I asked a girl out and learned after the fact the reason why God arranged that occurrence - it was to deal with my fear. Afterwords, I felt so free, but I still didn't like God keeping me in the dark about the whole thing until after it was over. Ugh. So embarrassing.  Then, this week I stood in front of a group of 43 peers to speak - and I buckled under that same gripping, paralyzing fear I felt 15 years ago. That's 15 years too long.  I'm kinda sick of it. Enough is enough.

If God keeps bringing these things up, it's time to deal with them.  No more will I idly sit by and let fear compromise action.  I choose to repent of the cowardice I've complacently let take root in my life like a garden that hasn't been weeded in a decade.  Even in the 10th week at FLI, God continues to stretch and grow me in ways I didn't know were even possible.  This is the third time this same issue has popped up within the last few weeks - and I know what that means: he's tired of seeing the cowardice in my life, and he's taking out the trash.

Thanks. Thanks a lot, God.  Just what I need.  One more thing to work on.  God, I know you're good... but you're soooo inconvenient sometimes.

~AK